Thursday, October 20, 2011

FINALLY! I Break Through!

Well, let's get started.

This year started with me losing my job on February 7th, a job that I REALLY liked and with a company that I liked even more than that!  Then, on the 11th, my beloved mother passed away, suddenly. The picture of health and a health nut almost to an extreme, gone, just like that! Next came my older daughter's car accident with a semi-tractor trailer that most fortunately, only left her with a bruise across her shoulder where the seat belt saved her and severely shaken, which, she over came pretty quickly.

It gets better ... hubby, who has been jobless at this point almost three YEARS (September 2nd would have been three hears) continued to search in vain, as well as myself. So, by June, with our savings completely exhausted, we had to move.  Having put what was left of our belongings in climate controlled storage we left.  We had nowhere to go so I placed Butters with a neighbor that seriously loves him, probably as much as I do and what really hurt is, I think Butters loves that old man more than ME! LOL! BOY! The tears and pain in my heart at watching him drive away after I loaded him in the trailer and he kept looking back at me asking, "Aren't YOU coming WITH ME?!" Anyways, back to it ... Tilley, Sierra's Border Collie, went to live on a farm that's a fish hatchery chasing ducks away from the fish, she's in complete heaven and her new owner sends pics and updates ... to the ex, I can't handle it, it's just too heart-breaking.  George, my beloved outdoor cat who was the best dog I ever had, went to live across the street as head mouser and beloved feline ... happy fat cat lol!

'Lainey went to live with her dad since he has a six-figure income and is still single and lives in a school district that is what most only dream of.  He drops her off at school every morning and she rides a bus with padded seats, seat belts, heating and a/c, home and to her tech classes that are at another school.  The Cafeteria should be renamed McDonald's w/a Buffet/Salad Bar!  Her friends are nice preppy girls that care about their grades and their futures in a positive sense, and her classes, wow!  She is actually taking the same Chemistry class as a Sophmore in High School that her sister is taking as a Freshman at Texas Tech!  She misses me but only as a typical 15 year old girl does, trust me, we're both VERY happy with her new living arrangements, seeing me only on weekends and holidays/breaks  makes me the good guy LOL!  Plus, her grandfather gave her his car.  It's a newer model Buick with only 29K miles on it, whatta dream come true!  She's working at Chick-fil-a 2 days/week until she turns 16 so she's lovin life and I am so very happy about THAT!

So, that leaves Tuck, the Corgi, LeeLoo the Phalene and Jake my collie.  Jake and LeeLoo are living w/a friend in her large back yard in their pens and I visit them 4x/daily to feed, exercise and clean up after them ... the summer was brutal! Tuck is w/us here :)

So, for two weeks after we moved out of the house, we were homeless and sleeping in our car.  That was a cool adventure, much like back in high school, until it started getting hot, ugh!  So, hubby got a job doing day-labour which afforded us enough to continue to make the car payment and get a hotel room, where we've been ever since.

Now, the break through ...

Hubby got a job, a REAL job about the time school started and is enrolled in school full-time .. he just can't further his career w/o finishing his degree.  He's working 2nd shift, making straight A's, except for the 1 B lol! and although tired, not complaining a bit, too tired, too, I think? ... we got approved on an application for an apartment and we get to move in as soon as it's remodel is complete!  It's a 3 bedroom, which they rarely have come available and the best part, I get to take all 3 of my dogs, I don't have to place any of them! YAY!

So, as things improve, I'll get a nice, fat refund in the Spring, probably February and can buy a horse and get back to riding.  I've saved all my tack and am saving for a truck/trailer but that'll be late Spring at best lol!  The fact that there is light at the end of the tunnel is what matters.

Through it all, I never lost hope, I never gave up, I refused to complain or whine, we're not whiners in our family and I wasn't about to start now! Turning 50 yesterday proved that I CAN make all my dreams come true in spite of what life throws at me.  That I AM capable and everything that I've ever wanted to be and that I live life on MY terms, NEVER DEFEATED!  I have a profound sense of appreciation for myself and a self-worth that I never knew could deepen, actually did.

I only shared what we were going through with only a couple of close friends because I did not want folks wasting time on prayers for us that could be used for others, so many are in need and in far worse shape than us, because they have lost hope, I never did. To these dear friends and even my ex, who loaned us money and really didn't have to, I owe everything, for their love, support and prayers, I surely could not have made it otherwise.

I was very reluctant to share my story but I'm so happy with getting an apartment, and getting back on our feet that I just can't keep it to myself and have to write it somewhere and since no one ever reads this, why not HERE?! LOL!

Also, I didn't want anyone to worry or feel sorry for us/me or pity me. I'm a tough old bird and though I may be down, I won't EVER be OUT!  It may take me time and all this happened for a reason, it was time for change, time for growth and was necessary, as painful as it may have been at times.  But I made it through, unscathed.  It's just life, none of us get out of it alive or without incident, it is why Shakespeare called it "Drama", it's all connected and so are we and I am no longer afraid of that! I FEAR ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!

So many are in our soon-to-be, previous, situation.  Some constantly lament and even commit suicide?!  I can't imagine feeling that hopeless and pray for their eternal happiness.  If I could beg someone to NOT give up and it work, I would.  Instead, I pray with tremendous appreciation and gratitude.

Now, onward to a better and brighter future and getting back on our feetz with a LOT of riding and camping and quilting! WOO HOO!


  1. Wow Bridgette I had no idea, it sounds like things are definately looking up for you. Through it you you had a plan for everything and although it was tough I'm sure it's starting to work out. I'm glad you posted this I bet it felt good writing it.


  2. You ain't kiddin! It feels SO good writing and reading it ... it's almost an out-of-body experience or something like that! Thanks, Karen,

  3. I had no idea either. I knew you had been through some tough things, but not all of that!

  4. Hey Tonya! Yah, but I'm good now, so very good! My camera's in storage so I can't post a pic of the fabric that I want to put in the giveaway, can't wait to see who all signs up, watch, only 1 person LOL! But that's okay with me! *HUGS* :)