.......

I sure wish I could hit the reset button, we're in the phase of after losing a loved one that one sibling is trying to control everything and all possessions.  Me, I could care less about such things. I have from my mother what I need.  I was always her daughter, the other 4 were her "kits" as she called them.  I wanted no part of her death and the aftermath that follows, I took care of her life, even at the end.  It is just sad how my younger sister is conducting herself and her life and mom's possessions, just sad.  She's really a sad, pitiful creature and I can no longer worry our care for her, she's 45 years old in April, I think she's grown enough to handle her life, however she sees fit.  She's not ever wanted any part of the 4 of us and our families, except when she needed something.  I helped her finish her degree when she was dumped by her "sugar daddy" b/c she turned 40 *rolling eyes*.  She could not do the work and write the papers, but I certainly could, and did.  We have a new brother-in-law that none of us met until my mother's funeral b/c she has put us down so badly.  Funny, at the end of the day, he certainly was behaving warming to us all which makes the statement that she had torn us down all this time ... apparently, they've been married for 2 years, have been attempting to have children at this late state and have had 5 miscarriages ... guess what goes around ... saddest part of that particular situation is, he doesn't know that she had an abortion at 16 and was told she would never be able to have children ... for the potential child's sake, I hope she never does.

There is so much more.  About 15 years ago, Mom called me all upset and when I found out what it was about I could not believe my ears!  Dad had made out a will that stated if he died before mom the house went to my older brother?!  Mom was so upset b/c she said that she HAD to sign the papers.  I asked her why she signed them and why she didn't say these things to him that she was saying to me?!? That she was married to him all these years, raised HIS kids and worked HARD as well, keeping house for 5 kids and 2 adults and all he did was work 40 hours/week and mowed the lawn when applicable and the occasional o/t when it was available and she would not get the house should he die?!  UN ... BE ... LIEVABLE!!!!

So, she went out and purchased a separate life insurance policy that I thought was too expensive at her advanced age, $200+/month!!!  So, where is that money now?!  It has NOT been mentioned ... just such a sad state of dramatic affairs that I'm afraid will not improve anytime soon ....

I did my part and that's all I can and will do ... I HAVE to go on and take care of my own family, my OWN children that I love dearly.  I need to let all of this go and be here and be present for them, they deserve no less.  They are the best children a person could have EVER prayed for.

Now is the hard part ... the aftermath, and it is here in this time, that I will find out who my friends REALLY are ...