Maybe A "Giveaway"?

Stay tuned as I have a giveaway planned!  You can enter multiple times, come back for instructions, it will be SO worth it!

:)

Changes

Well, my beloved Sierra has left for college.

Texas Tech in Lubbock, care for my beloved, nurture her to your best and give her wings to fly without pause!

I am both proud and heartbroken for I surely miss the cherished little premie that I brought home from the hospital without an instruction manual and raised her completely and totally from my heart for the past 18 years.

Changes surely are wonderful, necessary and at times painful, but I have loved every, single minute of being "Mommie" and later "Momma", and I could not be more proud!  The wonderful and difficult choices she has made along the way have shaped her into who she is, a young woman that everyone would want to be and a daughter that every mother should be so privileged to be able to raise and be called Mother, by.

I will always be your mother, her for you without question or condition but now, as you go into your own adulthood, coaching from the sidelines, but always here as a soft place to fall when you need it, and refuge and rejuvenation from a hard and cruel world.  Keep your strength and heart and you will continue to be the Total Victor!

Sail on my "Cherubian Princess", you are forever in your mommie's heart, making me always proud in every, single thing that you do. 

All my love, (except that shared with your sister lol!)
Mommie

Today

Well, Sierra graduated the 5th of June.  She's off to Texas Tech in the Fall.  I am so proud of that kid, I just can't even express!  It's been a long haul and we've only just begun ... life right now is so very challenging and I just don't get why?!  It's supposed to be the time when things wind and slow down and you take it one day at a time and enjoy each moment, not chaos and challenges that make your soul ache!!!  Oh well, no rest for the weary I guess ... So, not it's on to relocating and getting 'Lainey through school then on to college.

Hubby starts school too in the Fall, to get his certification it's a requirement ... I'm good with that and prefer it.

Hurry up and come on with the Happily Ever After already ... SHeESH!

It's a New Dawn, It's a New Day, but ..

Dunno if I'm feelin good yet lol!

It's been a rough couple of weeks and I just haven't had anything to post.

I've picked up the quilting and have cooked a little but mostly, the wind has been knocked out of my sails and with imminent legal matters looming, I don't think I'll be able to enjoy the holidays that I had planned for April and May and then I need to focus a lot of energy and fun into Sierra's graduation get-together w/the extended family.

I'll get there, but for now, it's just one day at a time ...

Countdown

How many days til we can get OUT of TexASS and back to the East Coast where we LOVE living??? .... Let's see, 'Lainey graduates in June of 2014 and she'll be off to college by August so that means 3 years and 5 months, give-or-take ... :)

REEEEAAAALLLY HATE it here!  But, I wonder about leaving Dad, I shouldn't Glinda and Rickie are in TexASS too (yes, everyone follows me, ugh! lol!) and can get to him easily should he need them.

There, took care of THAT guilt easily! LOL!

8 March 2011

Well, fighting the "funk" and refusing to give in to it but it surely is hard!

Going to try to enjoy some quilting.  I need to get Dad's quilt finished before Sierra's graduation when he comes down so I can give it to him then.  I hope to make it a very special time for us all.

Miss my little girl, she's growing up and flying the coup, leaving the nest but she knows the way home so I'm good.  I try to get her to cuddle with me telling her that soon I won't be able to do that whenver I want, she just giggles.

Never was a mother so proud or full of love and pride than I, nor was one more fortunate.  I love you with all of my heart my darling daughter, my shining pride :)

Much Better

Yup! Getting up and out of this hole and the sun is beginning to shine again. 

Working on an Exploding Star quilt and a Star Log Cabin for my dad.  I'll finish the one I started for mom and keep it or give it to family, haven't decided yet as dad said he didn't want it :/

Anyways, here's to things turning around and going in a MUCH better, happier direction coz February completely SUCKED! LOL!

p.s.  I didn't post about Sierra's car accident, whoa!

Today

Why do I feel like banging my head against the wall 1/2 the time?!  GEEEZUZ! This is HARD!

I told my children that we are not going through loss, but rather through change and sometimes BIG change is hard ... that's all, it's life, it happens and we'll get through b/c we can and always do ...

My heart hurts though ... but I'll get there ...

.......

I sure wish I could hit the reset button, we're in the phase of after losing a loved one that one sibling is trying to control everything and all possessions.  Me, I could care less about such things. I have from my mother what I need.  I was always her daughter, the other 4 were her "kits" as she called them.  I wanted no part of her death and the aftermath that follows, I took care of her life, even at the end.  It is just sad how my younger sister is conducting herself and her life and mom's possessions, just sad.  She's really a sad, pitiful creature and I can no longer worry our care for her, she's 45 years old in April, I think she's grown enough to handle her life, however she sees fit.  She's not ever wanted any part of the 4 of us and our families, except when she needed something.  I helped her finish her degree when she was dumped by her "sugar daddy" b/c she turned 40 *rolling eyes*.  She could not do the work and write the papers, but I certainly could, and did.  We have a new brother-in-law that none of us met until my mother's funeral b/c she has put us down so badly.  Funny, at the end of the day, he certainly was behaving warming to us all which makes the statement that she had torn us down all this time ... apparently, they've been married for 2 years, have been attempting to have children at this late state and have had 5 miscarriages ... guess what goes around ... saddest part of that particular situation is, he doesn't know that she had an abortion at 16 and was told she would never be able to have children ... for the potential child's sake, I hope she never does.

There is so much more.  About 15 years ago, Mom called me all upset and when I found out what it was about I could not believe my ears!  Dad had made out a will that stated if he died before mom the house went to my older brother?!  Mom was so upset b/c she said that she HAD to sign the papers.  I asked her why she signed them and why she didn't say these things to him that she was saying to me?!? That she was married to him all these years, raised HIS kids and worked HARD as well, keeping house for 5 kids and 2 adults and all he did was work 40 hours/week and mowed the lawn when applicable and the occasional o/t when it was available and she would not get the house should he die?!  UN ... BE ... LIEVABLE!!!!

So, she went out and purchased a separate life insurance policy that I thought was too expensive at her advanced age, $200+/month!!!  So, where is that money now?!  It has NOT been mentioned ... just such a sad state of dramatic affairs that I'm afraid will not improve anytime soon ....

I did my part and that's all I can and will do ... I HAVE to go on and take care of my own family, my OWN children that I love dearly.  I need to let all of this go and be here and be present for them, they deserve no less.  They are the best children a person could have EVER prayed for.

Now is the hard part ... the aftermath, and it is here in this time, that I will find out who my friends REALLY are ...

The Longest, Saddest Day of My Life

My phone was ringing frantically this morning at around 8a ... I knew something was wrong.  As I answered it was my Wasband (the girls dad, my ex husband) and all he had to say was, "Has your Dad gotten ahold of you yet?"  I knew what that meant and replied, " DON'T TELL ME MY MOTHER HAS DIED?!" "He said, well ... " and that's all I heard. I broke down sobbing and began crying/screaming loudly in pain.  My husband picked up the phone as I made my way to the living room where the Altar is and began to pray.

I miss her terribly, of course, what daughter doesn't miss their mother? 

I got the details from my Dad later.  He said she had been ill for two weeks now and of course she only told me it was a "cold".  He said that the doctor prescribed her some cough medicine and from there she went down hill, FAST!  She was apparently on oxygen, which she also neglected to tell me, that she had to sleep with and it also started two weeks ago. 

Dad said that she had lost a lot of weight, which isn't good at all b/c she was 5'0" tall and only weighed 96lbs., what weight did she have to lose?!  He said he made her some chicken soup for dinner and she went to sleep.  He got up around 3a to check on her and she was sleeping peacefully, the he checked on her again around 6a and found her in the bathroom slumped over against the door jam.  He immediately called 911 and began CPR.

She was pronounced dead in the ambulance which is only a 3 minute ride from their house, one reason she loved that house so much b/c the police station and fire station next door to it were only 3 minutes away and the hospital was across the street from those stations ... that ride to the hospital was her last.

Poor Dad, when he was asked if he wanted to view her body one last time he said, "No that he had been performing CPR on her all morning and that was not the memory he wanted of her, dead in the hospital as if he had failed her" ...  you see ... Dad LIVED for Mom.  She was his life, he has said so on more than on occasion and it is him that I worry about now.  My older sister and I both agree that in a year, we will be sending him to be with Mom ... eternally.

I thank my mother for the culture, love and family that she taught me, the things that matter most in life are the things that can not be purchased.  I thank her for loving me for the person that I am and she saw and loved my nature.  My love of animals and especially my courage to pursue my love of horses and riding even at this late stage of the game ...

She turned 80 in December, I'll be 50 in October ... something she was so very proud of.

She and Dad just celebrated their 40th Wedding Anniversary on January the 30th ... a treasured day in our family for it brought two broken families together and made one whole, and very large family of ADD folks that needed to OD on Ritalyn! LOL!

I will miss her with every day that passes and as my Dad said .. this is Day 1 ... he means for him without Mom and that he doesn't see there being too awfully many ...

As Dad has always taught us, in Buddhism, it's not "good-bye" it's "See Ya Later"!

I love you Mom, I'm glad that I made you so proud, of me, of the children I have raised, of the family I made, the culture and traditions that I pass on.

In your honour, name and memory ... forever, my Mother.  Aishiiteimasu ...

Iced-IN!

Well, with 3" of ice on the roads and everything closed down I got to quilt and not feel quilty about not being at work lol!

So, here's what I accomplished today.  It's for a co-worker's daugther who is only 2, almost 3.  Her request was for pink and brown and flannel, so this is what I came up with.  The sashing and border and the backing is flannel.  I am going to purchase a hand-held frame (Flynn Quilting Frame) and finish it since my FMQ leaves a LOT to be desired :/

Still loving my job and the company, and the folks that I work with and best of all, I actually can't wait to get to work everyday!  LOL!

Updates

It certainly has been a while since I've had the time and energy to post WOW!  Whatta whirlwind!

I've almost completed training and have started my new sked which I just adore!  I love where I work and the folks I work with and can't wait to start horsey shopping and riding again when the weather gets a better for us here.

I'm actually going to be completing a quilt w/in the next couple of days and thanks my new sked another one by the weekend WOW!  I am SO excited!  I am also making plans to finish all my UFOs as they are actually practice for much better attempts at quilting lol!  Also, I am excited about a few that I have planned for this year.

I am really looking forward to 2011 b/c it is already a jump ahead at being better than 2010 lol!

Updates with pics in a few days, here's hoping you have an ounce of the happines I live *HUGS* and Alohas!  Til next time ..

Happy trails and happy quilting!

Sunday

Here we are again, my favourite day of the week.  Work is going wonderfully and I love it!  I also love the place I work in, it's a beautiful environment and you can see that a lot of thought and planning went in to the psychology of a work environment conducive to a positive and productive work force!  The people I work with are just as fantastic!

I have to say, taking my brain off the shelf, dusting it off and putting it to use again has been a challenge but I really love where I ended up, everything is just as it should be for me to be very happy and still keep my simplicity in tact.

So, until next time ... when I should have pics of finished quilts, although my machine is not set to ship until the 4th of Jan and it may take a week after that ... hopefully I'll have a lot more fun and happy news to post!

Happy quilting and happy trails and a prayer that may you all have a prosperous and happy 2011!

Time Sure Does FLY!

Well, so, I've made it through 4 weeks of training mostly unscathed and loving my work environment, the work itself and mostly my wonderful co-workers.  How fortunate I am!!!  I can't wait to get the offer to go permanent, just hope that I DO get that offer lol!

My poor sewing machine finally went kaput!  So, I found one on ebay and can't wait to get it!  I bid on it, it's NIB and BOY! OH! BOY!  Will I be cranking out quilts for a while! LOL!  It doesn't have my favourite feature, AHA (automatic height adjustment) but I'll surely be grateful until I can afford my dream machine :)

On the quilting note, I found stencils that I can follow and make my quilting patterns and even w/that help my poor machine just jumps so severely, periodic burps in the quilting make it look awful, however, it's not a total loss and I LOVE the stencils!  So, waiting to see if I win the auction and get a new machine for Christmas *wink*  Santa, I've been SUCH a good girl this year :)

I hope and pray that all have a wonderful and happy holiday and to our service men and women overseas who protect us with all that they have, I hope they have the BEST holiday of all and know that this woman deeply appreciates them and their sacrifice. Because of them I can worship as I please and speak my mind freely, enjoy any occupation and lifestyle that I choose, no limits, that's freedom ... but it ain't free!

Can I Get a T.G.I.F.?!

WWWWOW!  I haven't posted here in a while!  Been too busy trying to learn my new job, training class is tough and I've made it so far, inspite of all of the destractions LOL! 

Sure wish I could ride but quilting over the weekend works, too!  I still have 2 to finish as gifts and I guess my immediate family won't be getting theirs til next year sometime LOL!  However, I DO have to complete Sierra's quilt(s) before she goes off to college so she can wrap herself in a big hug from Mommie when she needs it, I'll surely miss that girl with all of me! *sniff* *sniff*

I am asleep early every night (930p), not that I have a headache but my brain certainly says it's TIRED!  Weird feeling, guess taking it out of storage and dusting it off and using it again causes that!  I'm really likin this!

Having completed my first benchmark and in good standing, I'm relieved and ready for round 2.  

I keep my mantra going, "BUYINGHORSEYSTUFFPAYINGFORCOLLEGE, BUYINGHORSEYSTUFFPAYINGFORCOLLEGE..."  that way I'm motivated to work LOL!

Have a great weekend everyone, me, I plan to make a wonderful breakfast, cook and freeze meals for the upcoming week and quilt and and enjoy time w/my family.

Saturday

WOO HOO!  I made it through my first week back to work and in training class.  *WHEW*!

We had a spread on Friday and it was essentially a big blow-off, not a lot study-wise got accomplished but we were expecting that and I was certainly good with it lol!

I feel MUCH better today, just a little congestion left and nothing like what I was battling at the beginning of the week.  WOW! That was rough on top of trying to learn and being "older", only I would have an experience like THAT LMBO!

We're going truck shopping in a bit, waiting on 'Lainey to wake and have breakfast with us.  Sierra is on a college tour at Texas Tech in Lubbock.  She's already noticed that it's not really the place for her LOL! 

Speaking of Sierra and college, she's pretty much decided that she wants to go to UofH (university of houston), why? I have no idea *rolling eyes* but she fully understands that if she gets a full ride to Northwestern in Illinois, or Rice in Houston, SHE'S GOING! LOL!

I'll do horsey things this afternoon and early evening and then quilt late evening/tonight, although I do prefer to quilt during the day when it's sunny, dunno why, it's just more relaxing and fulfilling for me to do so during that time of day. 

Tomorrow will be spent cooking food/leftovers and planning menus and shopping for them, for the upcoming work week.  Aaaahhhh, yes, work, I like this stuff coz it buys me TOYS! LOL!

Have a good one and I'll see ya when I see ya!

Is It Friday, Yet?

Whatta WEEK it has been! WOW!  My brain doesn't know what to do and when I get home I'm kind of on auto-pilot or something and this getting dark by 5:30 just really throws me for a loop!

I've pretty much completed my first week back to work and it was really fun! I can SO do this!  They say that tomorrow, Friday, is pretty much a blow off day, not a lot gets accomplished ... b/c it's FRIDAY LOL!  So, we're having a spread and going over things off-and-on all day.  I am really looking forward to this.

I'm going truck shopping Saturday so wish me luck, I need my wheels!

I am also struggling with a nasty bug/upper respiratory infection which I caught Friday night and really hit me hard on Monday ... yah, leave it to me to start a new job w/a serious infection/cold PUHHH HAHAHAHAHA ! I love me!

On to the weekend, some quilting, some car shopping, some spending time w/my horsey habit and then back at it ... I mean that IS the reason I work, to pay for my horsey habit and quilting fun!  WoO HOo!

Saturday

What the heck happened to my music? Some of it has been changed, oh well, guess I'll work on that when I have a chance, apologies b/c some of that is NOT what's been on here ... yuck! lol!

I'm fighting off a cold, of COURSE I get sick b/c I'm starting back to work  Monday ... just proves I'm allergic to 8-5 work LOL!

Well, I FINALLY finished my first COMPLETED quilt and it is a total MESS, YUCK! LOL!  Everything that you can do wrong in making a quilt, I did LOL!  I did learn a LOT and it has helped me with my decisions on machines as well, so this quilt means a lot.  Hubby said, "It's okay, we still love it coz you made it" LOL!  He's turning his office into a quilt gallery of my finished projects that are all practice/learning items ... boy! does he love me or WHAT coz that stuff is UGLY! LMBO!

Did a UFO :)

So I opted to finish another top LOL!  Now to find and decide on backing and binding ... it's a gift so I need to be very particular, I certainly hope she likes it!

UFOs

Well, I would have finished another top, however, I still wait for the border and backing fabric to arrive in the mail, so, I'm trying to decide whether to finish another top or start quilting one that's ready to be quilted and try once again, my inexperienced hand a FMQ ... stay tuned to see what I decided lol!

Thank you for visiting, I always appreciate it and your comments as well.

*HUGS* and Alohas and Happy Holidays to you all!
:)